How many times in your life you have found yourself at a crossroad of walking away or needing to explain?
And how many times, stupidly, you have chosen to explain?
Have explanations ever changed how things played out, the perceptions of the other or improved relationships?
We offer an explanation to alter these three outcomes, mostly, don’t we?
I am talking about explanations that describe, define or defend actions and behaviours.
Not empirical explanations like Blue Turns Red in acid or why the ocean is blue.
One often comes across a point in life where an explanation is required and often demanded.
The premise is already a loaded dice.
An explanation is required/demanded/offered when trust is lost/shaken.
Trust is not a small thing.
Where there is trust, no explanation is ever needed.
When the trust is shaken or gone, no explanation is sufficient.
It can’t bring back the trust.
A trust thus brought/bought is not worth it as it will be shaken again at the slightest provocation or excuse.
One ends up spending the rest of the life placating the lost trust and cajoling it back to its original unblemished version.
Sadly this does not happen as it is not possible.
Trust is like a virgin. There is nothing called a 99% virgin.
You are either a virgin or you are screwed.
So it is with trust.
The trust is either there or, pun intended, you are screwed.
Paradise could have been regained by Milton but there is no recorded evidence of a trust regained.
The next time you are facing the quandary of composing an explanation, stop for a while and think whether the futile exercise must be attempted at all.
It is a sheer lose-lose.
Either you win the trust temporarily, only to lose it again sooner than later, or you find yourself offering more explanations to support the first initiative.
Either way, you lose.
Moving on is a wiser counsel.