Lethal Weapons

Combinations to avoid:

     1.       Godmen and people (I was about to write women, but the state of affairs is so bad….)
      a.       This is religion-neutral applies to Swamijis, Mullahs, Priests, Rabbis….

2.       Alcohol and texting

3.       Football and your spouse

4.       Cooking and aubergine

5.       Cities and holidays

6.       Grass and garden

7.       Livingroom and TV

8.       Trump and Presidency

9.       British and the power to make decisions

10.   Facebook and data

11.   Google and data

12.   Management and powerpoint

13.   Dan Brown and fiction

14.   Social media and retired people

15.   Americans and travel

16.   Justin Bieber and music

17.   Jose Mourinho and football

18.   Instagram and DSLR

19.   Apple store and a credit card

20.   December and diet

21.   Hollywood and a good book

22.   Harvey Weinstein and anyone

23.   Retired professionals and consulting

24.   Elevators and mirrors

25.   Relationships and relatives

26.   Advanced age and the compulsion to offer advise

27.   Celebrities and opinions

Pic Courtesy: imgflip.com

PAVLOVIAN

Photo Courtesy: thumbpress.

A photocopy is a Xerox

Noodles are Maggi

Post it-s are 3M

Quality sound system is a Bose

Sunglasses are Ray-Ban

Santa is Red

Christmas is merry and new year is happy

(I had a friend who used to wish Marry Christmas and I asked him if I should divorce the New Year 😉)

Mickey is a mouse

Donald was a Duck till one Trump came along

Bottled water is a Bisleri

Baby products are Johnson and Johnson

(maybe Asbestos now ☹)

If you drive fast you are a Schumacher

And these things change with time too

If you were a footballer in

60s and 70s, you were a Pele

In the 80s, a Maradona

Around the noughties, a Beckham

Now a Messi or Ronaldo

Like the song Knockin’ on Heaven’s door recalled

A Bob Marley or

A Eric Clapton or

Guns and Roses

Depending on your age!

And such conditioned reflexes make for this interesting game – you can impress the ones who do not know about this.

1. Think of a number from 1 to 10.
2. Multiply that number by 9.
3. If the number is a 2-digit number, add the digits together.
4. Now subtract 5.
5. Determine which letter in the alphabet corresponds to the number you ended up with (example: 1=a, 2=b, 3=c, etc.)
6. Think of a country that starts with that letter.
7. Remember the last letter of the name of that country.
8. Think of the name of an animal that starts with that letter.
9. Remember the last letter in the name of that animal.
10. Think of the name of a fruit that starts with that letter.

You can then ask them if they are thinking of a Kangaroo in Denmark eating an Orange?

Drum roll and cue to jaw drop!

Please remember that it works only with English speaking people. I tried it once on my Romanian fried and she started with Deutschland for D and it was chaos!

😊

Picture This

I have done a small research on what your profile picture could reveal about you

Pic Courtesy : Google Images

The deductions of mine are presented in a tabular form for easy reading

Your profile picture	What it tells about you
Never Changed from Day 1	·         Not creative ·         Loyal ·         Or plain bored
A God	·         Hypocrite
Your wife / husband	·         You have a girlfriend / boyfriend
Your children	·         They are still young
Monuments / random city square	·         Just back from a vacation
A temple or any place of worship	·         Hypocrite / Just back from a vacation
A book	·         Pretends to read
An actress / actor	·         Mid-life crisis
Sportsperson	·         Pretends to like sports
Your tattoo	·         Show off
Some quotes	·         No imagination
Mountain tops / Summits	·         Show off / Just back from a vacation
Running with a bib	·         A fitness attack / probably the only run (the site will have listed you as a DNF (Did Not Finish)
Modern Art	·         Visited a museum recently
Family picture	·         Children have moved away from home
Baby	·         You have recently become a parent ·         You have recently become a grandparent ·         You have recently become a grand-grandparent (yes- they are active on social media – actually they are MORE active)
Old family pictures	·         Recently retired
Weird ones	·         Weird
Extreme close ups or random landscapes	·         Bought a new DSLR
Yourself	·         Narcissist
Musician	·         Pretends to know music
Random Bimbo	·         Desperate
Animals in captivity	·         Recently visited a zoo
Animals roaming free	·         Back from a safari
Extreme close ups of the said animals	·         Visited a zoo or back from a safari after buying a new DSLR
Your dog	·         Trustworthy
Your cat	·         Even more trustworthy

Dangerous Things

Restraints on speeches

And plastic in oceans

Crispy hot summers and freezing cold winters

Polar ice reserves that melts into zilch

These are the few of the dangerous things!


Dark colored water and fake colored apples

Gilet jaunes, #metoo

And children with shotguns

Wild ducks that flounder with oil on their wings

These are the few of the dangerous things!



Trump in white house, not giving a shit

Britain is pulling on EU, a Brexit

Rest of the world too slowly falling apart

These are the few of the dangerous things!



When Orban barks

When Trump smirks

When I’m feeling sad

I just remember these dangerous things

And then it gets worse


* -- Sing to the tune of These are the few of my favorite things.

Pic Courtesy : Google Images.