Is there unconditional love (UCL in short) in the world?
With the privilege of being the author of my blogposts, let me say it at the beginning, instead of bringing out the conclusion at the end, as is usually the norm.
The answer is
I can visualize the jerked knees of the conservatives and the politically rights.
Swords must already be out of the scabbards, kitchen knives must be getting sharpened to scalpel levels to draw blood.
How dare he…..
Examples will tumble out, after all, we all know that there are people in the world who are capable of UCL, and we do know some of them, (horror horror) even I myself qualify etc…
I will try and list all possible instances and offer my negation
Far as I am concerned, UCL, comes in the list of Loch Ness, Bigfoot, Medusa, Unicorn and Yeti.
For every example that can come by I can offer a counter point.
An exception does not prove a rule. An exception questions the very validity of the original rule.
There is nothing called a 99% virgin, right?
First from defense counsel would be mother’s love of her children.
Or a father’s, as an afterthought.
From ancient history to current contemporary world we will not have much difficulty in listing out instances of broken relationships between the said individuals, infrequently culminating in matricide or patricide or even filicide.
For every Abel, I have a Cain!
In fact, spouses are the only area where the society formally concedes and accepts that there is nothing called UCL.
This is the only relationship which has an official avenue to terminate.
One divorces a wife or a husband!
A father can disinherit his son from his material wealth, but he remains a son.
So it is with a mother, a daughter and friends….
Of course, friends have to come into the discussion.
Don’t we have friends in all our mythology, films, literature …
If only to reinforce what is actually non-existing
Damon – Pythias
King Arthur – Lancelot
Horatio - Hamlet
How many go to their graves with an intact friendship? The mention of friends usually cements my fundamental belief that UCL does not exist. How often have we heard the cliché repeated “Thank God I can choose my friends unlike my family”
Having chosen our friends, are we happy with them? How many friendships have taken, unerringly, the following route? This is not necessarily confined to friends, this journey is common to all relationships.
The best kind
Share our secrets
Hang out more often
The first person to reach out in defining moments
One poisonous moment of misunderstanding
A chasm so vast it is unbridgeable
When it is all over, look back and what have you …. Zilch.
I have this famous theory of mine called “a blank foolscap sheet”
Get two people who have fallen apart, put them across a table, if possible, give them each a blank A4 sheet, ask them to write down, starting at the first instance of the rift, what led to their drifting apart and reach this situation of complete incompatibility – return after an hour to find two long faces and two blank foolscap sheets!
One might offer an act of kindness here as a defense to UCL. An act of charity, helping a complete stranger, saving someone from a distress etc.
These are just that.
A random act of kindness.
Not to be confused with love. Love should stand the test of time. Only then it is love.
Time implies durability. That can only be the test of UCL.
If not there are other terms for these relationships, - infatuation, momentary lust, comrade of convenience, business venture, temporary co-existence with mutual agreement with an expiry date clearly marked.
Every relationship needs something in return. This “something” need not be materialistic or monetary.
The expectations could vary from respect, acceptance, time, compromises, togetherness, inclusion and a propensity for risk-taking.
When the expected expectations are not met, the relationship starts to falter.
Few crumble, many fall apart and none stays the same.
The case is rested.
It is not fair to close it with a such a bleak, although realistic, conclusion.
You want UCL.
Get yourself a dog!