Why I love Music

When you are happy, you have a song

When sad, another.

When tired, there is that special one to pep you up

And relaxing is not complete without a special song.

And you have a song for each of your friends

And one when someone is leaving

There is a hello song

A good bye song

A celebration song

A song for your first love

A song for your wife/ husband (in case the two are different :) )

A song to wake up to

A song to drift to your sleep

A song when you are drinking

And another when you are drunk

A song for your treadmill

A song when working out

A song for family reunion

A song for the bachelor party

A song that will make you dance

A song that will make you smile, does not matter when/what

And we all have that one song, in a language that we do not understand.

Is there another thing in the world that is so versatile as a song or simply music.

Woman, you should be a girl soon. (Inspired by Neil Diamond)

Woman, you should be a girl soon!

Remember the time when rains meant

Jumping into puddles, splashing dirt

Getting wet, face upward welcoming sheets of water

And not looking for umbrellas, removing clothes from balcony

Anxious about children who are not at/yet home!!

Woman, you should be a girl soon!

Remember the times when cinema meant

Popcorn, oily unhealthy savories,

Dressing up, first-day-first-show

And not preparing dinner before leaving

Dozing off once the film starts

Woman, you should be a girl soon.

Remember the times when friends meant

Gossiping, bitching about your friends,

Swooning over Brad Pitt, discussing books

And not organizing a tea party,

Matching chinaware, talk about children’s academics

Woman, you should be a girl soon.

Remember the times when shopping meant

Clothes, 49/99 jewelry, second-hand book shops

Smelling those books over the end of shopping coffee

With the inevitable masala dosa at Indian Coffee Board

And not groceries, milk, uniforms, stationery

Gather all that is “on sale”, plants, toiletry

Woman, you should be a girl soon.

Remember the times when relaxing meant

Just jump on your bed, hammock, whatever

With a book in hand and turn off the world.

Not putting in so many efforts, to finish chores

That you actually pass out.

Woman, you should be a girl soon.

And please remember your husband/lover fell in love with the

Girl , not the woman.

Woman, you should be the girl soon.

Happiness is..........

Happiness is

-     Polish the pan off the remnants (2 hours after the meal)

-     Seeing a drop of sweat fall to the ground, after a workout

-     Smelling a new book

-     Smelling an old book

-     Finding the exact page in your fav book

-     Seeing the photograph coming out better than you expected/intended

-     Seeing sarcasm not registering

-     Another friend noticing the same and making a quick eye contact

-     Surprising children

-     Assembling a DIY furniture and not finding unused parts at the end

-     Finding the dog inside your duvet in the middle of the night

-     The first cycle ride of each year

-     Able to remember the lyrics of a song that you hear after 10 years

-     The sweet smell of a single malt

-     The taste of the hop in your Pilsner

-     Deserted mountains

-     Cooking

-     Losing weight

-     Drilling an extra hole to tighten your belt

-     Sharing tees with your son/daughter

Why am I still poor?

Congo wants to give me 20 million USD each week !

Rwanda chips in with 15 M USD

HM the queen insists on collecting the 500,000 pound sterling

Google is ready to deliver the phone that I won

Sierra Leone beseeches with a bag full of diamonds.

Blood or the other variety

Facebook lottery throws in another 10 M USD

Mercedes is not far behind either

Sensing all this I have

Mary hot and Bara the bitch

Assaulting me non-stop with their

O#f€r$$ of h@t $essIONs

So what stops me :/

Do you cook yourself..............?

There are people who are not fluent in English and they know that they are not. They often resort to the vernacular language and do effective communication without causing much misunderstanding. This breed does not bother me. This group has gems like “that fellow does lots of gadbad, can not put your bharosa on him” etc. Though may not qualify for exalted company in the corridors of Oxford, they successfully complete what have set out to achieve i.e., put their point across without any ambiguity or I’d say rather with a flourish.

The other breed with whom I have often been forced to interact, adds new meanings to communication and ends up passing on information absolutely different and unconnected to what they intend to say. This group is not fluent in English but they think they are and what follows is absolute chaos, and from the chaos, may be, new phrases and languages are born. One of my friends belongs to this segment. A bachelor living with his friends, he often amuses me with remarks that are as shocking as they are original. On one occasion during a conversation he mentioned very confidently that he would remember his friend at 11 p.m. I was very surprised at this revelation. Not that I was interested whether he remembers his friend or not. However this candid submission of nocturnal remembrance led me to doubts of a different nature and I became, to say the least, curious. On further prodding it became evident that he wanted to remind his friend. This casual interchanging of two disparate words left me nonplussed. Six years down sands of time, he still remembers when he wants to remind. I admire the courage of this person who is at home in ascribing new meanings to a foreign language.

On another occasion, I, normally conditioned to his peculiar language, was still thrown into a state of utter disbelief when I inquired him about his routine dietary habits. I was hoping to find a good hotel he must be frequenting as I would be in need of the same due to the sudden decision of my spouse to proceed on her vacation, leaving me to fend for myself. “I cook myself” came the reply that knocked the daylights out of me. I could not believe the cannibalistic connotations attached to the probable confession. Pleading for clarity I deduced that he meant he was in the habit of cooking at home. I asked him, tongue-in-cheek, “who cooks your friend?”, knowing his friend had recently graduated and left for his hometown. It was a repartee wasted on a person not tuned to, nor has the capacity to understand, wit or sarcasm. Nonchalantly came the reply “who Vivek? Didn’t you know that he passed away?”

Amazing! He converted a graduate to a corpse with the help of only two syllables without batting an eyelid.

To cut a long story short ....................

“NDA assumes power” screamed the headlines. I concluded that there was a military coup in India, no doubt picked up from her notorious neighbor. Ever since my school days NDA meant National Defence Academy, and only a few quick lessons in real politics cleared the picture to me that this “NDA” stood for BJP and its allies. Scanning the newspaper day after day, I reckon, one has to be a mobile encyclopedia of all abbreviations to fully comprehend the news. 

Just the other day TOI (Times of India) reported that “MAMI will be held in Mumbai on November 24^th” From the caption I gathered that Ms. Jayalalitha will be transferred to either Arthur Road jail or the Thane jail’s “Anda cell”( the latter having the reputation of Mr.Sanjay Dutt as one of its  former inmates). Further reading proved I was grossly wrong and MAMI actually stood for Mumbai Academy of Moving Images! 

If you think I am exaggerating, please try this one - “Shibu Soren quits NDA, turns to RJD, BSP, SP etc.” I am convinced that with all these names he is bound to make the mistake of approaching the BJP after quitting NDA. If that happens my sympathies will be with him. 

It is not just politics that has its quota of acronyms. Armed forces are not far behind. Try cracking this. “AJT’s for IAF with MIG-21 says ACM”. 

To the less initiated, the translation goes thus: Advanced Jet Trainers for the Indian Air Force says the Air Chief Marshall. I have not completely translated as I am yet to crack what MIG-21 stands for. I am sure we all will learn in the near future.

The king in this field is however Economics. “Is a super regulator like CCI necessary with bodies like SEBI, TRAI and CERC around?” In the beginning it was the subject that was not making any sense, now even the language does not. CCI, which means Competition Commission of India, will actually mean Cricket Club of India if encountered in the sports section. This adds a new twist to an already grotesque tale. Mere knowledge of the acronyms is meaningless unless you also possess the adroitness of matching the right one with the context

Thus NBA read with SSP (Sardar Sarovar Project) should bring to your mind Ms.Medha Patkar while the same NBA on sports page will feature Michael “Air” Jordan of US basketball. Common acronyms with disparate professions are abound. ISI might stand for the ubiquitous mark on virtually every product as well as the elite Indian Statistical Institute, Calcutta or even the dreaded outfit of Pakistan. A more common IT that renders film stars (of late cricketers) sleepless in fact opens the gates for aspiring software graduates. EC can be Election Commission as well as European Council.

 Another hilarious side of these short ones is the interpretations that are offered, the origins of many are not traced. Thus MTNL stands for “My Telephone is Not Linked” and MSEB for “Monday to Sunday Electricity Bandh”. BPT, now MbPT, stood for “Bevada Peeke Tight” though it had many a teetotalers on its rolls. It’s also quite apt that management information system generates a “MISreport”. The quintessential ERP in many a firm now stands for “Enter, Relax,    Pass out”. The new IT chaps have a language that is absolutely unique. It might require at least a decade for us, lesser mortals to decode. Try this. “An infrastructure that supports AOL and which shall make the DBMS of yesteryears becoming BEMS of tomorrow”. Now whatever that means! (Used to be WTM in my college days).

I was never prepared for the day I came to know what “MRF” stood for. After all those ads of Formula1 cars, radial tyres, the only F1 tyre manufacturer in India, willow wielding Sachin Madras Rubber Factory was very anti climatic. This could have been a good name for a company making contraceptives (which incidentally is TTK).

To cap it all the effect of Big B on old classics like Sound of Music. The famous “Do Re Me “song was converted to

            “When you read you begin with KBC………”

Chleb

The plot was brewing for nearly a month.
Needing new challenges before the winter said goodbye we were rather pissed off when week after week the weather forecast remained atrocious.

What made it more painful was the entire week had excellent weather and it turned worse only on the weekends.

Hopes were kindled when the weather forecast remained decent for Saturday.
7 hours of sun and moderate wind with no threat of clouds or rains.
The die was cast.
A combination of the usually punctual Czech and an equally "fanatic-for-the-time-to-the-minute" Indian made sure that three of us left sharp at the agreed time in the morning.
The departure was timed to reach the parking lot of www.vratna.sk
at just the right time.

The players:
Pavel Sedivy - The leader of the trek - demanding and considerate at the same time. Plans a trip that tests your capability at the same time makes sure you are left standing at the end of the day (just barely.. )
Michal Sedivy - Pavel's son - Young and a natural on the mountains and a wonderful company - discusses Ayn rand and Nuclear Physics in the same breath (Not that there was going to be any talk on the climb...)
Yours truly - Bitten by the mountain bug fairly late in life - attacking every opportunity with a vengeance -  always looking for another new peak though knowing very well to keep the challenge within manageable limit

The plot:
Pavel explained in the most basic form. Repeating his version verbatim. "We will go small way through woods, cross to the next level along the level-line, and then keep climbing up and down till we reach Chleb after which is a good cottage for a nice beer and finally up a small distance to Velky Krivan and take the cable car down"

Only the last part looked exciting and having known Pavel for nearly 5 years I know what "small" meant 

The day's events:
We reached the parking lot on the dot. And started the usual chores of dressing up, checking that the bags had everything we might need and we set off closer to 0900 hours. Here Pavel stopped and pointed to a map which gave a clear picture of what lay in store in front of us over the course of the day.

This is one thing I have not understood to this day. If my destination is to the right why I set off to the left, walk further away from my destination, then turn back and make the most circuitous way possible to reach the destination !!!!!!

The initial stretch was good and easy, more a stroll through a park, mostly woods, not so dense, and sooner than I expected the first stop "Chata na Gruni" was on us.

The intention to relax started to vaporize when I looked  what lay in front of me.

I could not see any other route to the eventual destination (which as I explained earlier, stayed far off to the right inexplicably) other than this ski slope.

Seriously even Pavel would not expect me to climb a ski slope, I was fairly certain. I put on the chains and adjusted the cap and gloves properly and waited.

Pavel started the lead as usual and to my horror he started walking towards the ski slope.

I asked him "Pavel, do you seriously suggest that we walk up this slope?"

"Did not I tell you that we cross this particular patch along the level-line? Come on, it is not difficult"

I started and inched my way up. Literally! The snow was frequently deep, and given the slope, as my foot plunged it slipped backwards too. I refused to look at the top (which was anyway not visible, I know that these ski slopes twisted as they climbed and each peak one reaches is just a base for the next climb and the next peak) and kept keeping smaller and nearer milestones, the second pole, that small mound that looks like a cat, the next pole, that big fir tree on the right, etc... And Pavel was always ahead, often waiting for me and egging me on.

We reached some indefinite distance, the end of this slope was nowhere seen, and suddenly I froze. From the next peak I could see 5 ski-ers were hurtling down. I was in the middle of their descent. 

Two things bothered me. Would one of them take me down with him? And would I have to climb this much again, assuming I incur no serious damage?

They all had phenomenal control. I helped them by standing petrified in my spot. And continued again.

Much later, after Pavel waited on numerous occasions, we reached the next milestone of our itinerary.

Poludnovy Grun at 1460 mtr. 

The delight of having reached 1460 was nothing compared to the realization that the blasted ski slope was over.  

The joy was however (and obviously) short lived.

There were undulating mountains that rose and fell towards the ultimate peak Chleb and then a small descent to the cottage that held the promised warm interior and the cold beer.

I asked Pavel " Is there no shorter route to the cottage instead of going over and down unnecessarily over all these? " I swept my arm in an alarming arc to encompass "over all these".

"What is the point in reading No shortcuts to the top" was his reply - this was in reference to the book both of us were reading over the last two weeks - The unputdownable account of Ed Viesturs' account of his Endeavor 8000.

After the ski slope no subsequent climb was expected to be tougher and none of them did, some were difficult but were mostly manageable and there were frequent descents too to make it a little more tolerable.

But how can a mountain ever be easy? The undulating range had a narrow corridor on the ridge to walk. On either side of the ridge was a smooth unbroken (the one confidence boosting facet, as it meant no one had fallen down those slopes) layer of snow that led all the way

d



o




w



n.

I kept dragging myself to the center of that narrow ridge and the width was not enough to cover both legs and the trekking stick. 

The iron grip on the stick at the start of the trek had already dwindled to a mere holding. There were many instances when the stick just dragged along instead of planting down firmly and lending me support.

This is how the ridge and I managed each other..........

In the background one could see a potential storm brewing. Fortunately it did not come to pass. Few good things do happen when you are on the mountain.

Not everything is shit.

We eventually reached Hromove at 1636 mtr. Next stop was Chleb the intended peak at 1647 mtr. 

Only 11 mtr vertical distance. Should be easy.

As usual the mountains had a different plan. Pavel gave his demonic smile and I knew at once "game over".

I still do not understand why I had to go from 1636 to 1300 and then climb to 1647. The descent, meaningless as it is, was further hard as on our left, less than 5 kms away, was a sprawling green town. Not a bit of snow, all green and NORMAL.......

Everything was worth it when I finally stood at Chleb at 1647 mtr. Unlike Lysa Hora where i encounter more people than I would at the city center, here there were just 6 people. 

It was peaceful, beautiful and QUIET.

The cottage looked pretty close and the walk down to the cottage was quick.

It was 1400 hours and all I had since morning was a thermos of tea. I was not hungry, I just needed to reach the cottage, enter the warm interior and rest my butt.

About 50 mtrs from the cottage Pavel pointed to "Velky Krivan" at 1709 mtr. It was supposed to be a 40 minute trip both ways included. It was tempting. And I could have managed it. Probably I lost steam. The beer won! Michal and I opted for the cottage and beer while Pavel set on the highest peak of the range.

From the top of Velky Krivan" Pavel had shot this beautiful picture that captured the entire route that we traveled 

One can see Pavel's shadow in this picture

Half-way up the ski slope I said to myself never again to this stupid place. I departed with a vow to visit again and this time make it to 1709.

In summary, a beautiful day. 

And by the way Pavel crammed his back pack with 10 ltrs of water!!!!

Don't ask me why ....................